A devastating Thunder loss from a Experience Perspective:

A Young team makes young mistakes.

You can relate so many aspects of this loss to any team that is young and has not been there before. Experience trumps exuberance. Mark my words; this WILL be a tremendous learning experience for the Thunder as this team moves forward. Just like Serge Ibaka forgetting to box out Pau Gasol in Game 6 vs. the Lakers last season. These mistakes are a splinter in your mind for the entire off season.

I am not going to sit here and dissect the Thunder’s logistical problems, draw up plays, or analyze who should or shouldn’t have taken shots or even been in the game. That’s Scott Brooks job. But I will remind you; this is only Scott Brooks 2nd year as a head coach, and he also has made youthful mistakes in this series. But he too will learn from this loss.

Okay let’s talk about the big finish. When it comes down to it, you cannot be content with being ahead IN the game; you have to stay ahead OF the game. The Thunder were 15 points in the lead with under 5 minutes to go, looked at the scoreboard, and felt content. Even my brother sent me a text message that said “Ballgame!!!” You have to remember that these players are humans just like you and I, and you AND I thought this game was over! The last 5 minutes we played not to lose, and that is such a huge difference than playing to WIN. We settled for seemingly easy jumpers instead of being aggressive and taking the ball to the basket like we did all game. There are lessons to learn all over the place. It’s not any different with any competitive environment. You have to stay aggressive. You have to stay on your toes. Go get what you want, or someone is going to take what you have from you. Finish strong. Protect what you have. Just like Dallas closed the Thunder out in game 3 after blowing a huge lead. They knew that they were going to have to stay aggressive to beat us. And they did; in more ways than one.

The second a competitor notices a moment of vulnerability; they are going to take advantage. Dallas did just that. They kept the game close and waited patiently for the shots to fall, and they did. They also played like they have been there before, and they had. They have experienced the heartbreak and that “splinter” in their mind all off season following Dallas’s 2006 devastating playoff exitus. This might just be that off season memory that motivates the Thunder in the off season.

There definitely is something to be said about experience. It shows us that we have to have that killer instinct. You have stay on your toes; you have to stay aggressive. Learn from your mistakes, and when you’re down, come back stronger. This is true of sports, business, or any situation where something is extremely coveted: being the best in your field of expertise.

“Bitter experience has taught us how fundamental our values are and how great the mission they represent.” -Jan Peter Balkenende

What do you want to be remembered for?

Friday June 18th, 2010

It’s BLOG resurrection time! I need to write. I need to express myself creatively through freelance writing. With that being said I ordered a new book. The Daily Drucker: 366 days of Insight and Motivation for Getting the RIGHT Things DONE. Yes this is a business minded book. It speaks of group synergy and the importance of intellectual capital, but it also drives the point home by putting an emphasis on personal discipline and motivation, because in my opinion, that’s where it all starts. So I will be updating this BLOG relatively frequently based on exerts or philosophies from this book. I hope you find insight and inspiration into your daily life as this book provides this directly to me. Ready go!

What do you want to be remembered for?

Wow, what a powerful and humbling question. To me when I read this simple sentence I can’t help but see the forest that is my life as opposed to the tree. This neck of the woods is 2010. This tree is about to enjoy a Friday evening. What I am getting at is that we have to see every tree, harmful or helpful as a possibility to improve ourselves or set us back. Hey, we all stumble in life, and we all to things to harm ourselves and reputation, but wrongs can be righted, and mistakes can be forgiven. Be disciplined. Make healthy decisions. See the big picture. The great thing about this question is exactly stated in the book, “This question induces you to renew yourself, because it pushes you to see yourself as a different person – the person you CAN become.” Be encouraged that we ALL have potential to do amazing things! Live healthy and disciplined, surround yourself with encouraging people, and always always always think of the answer to the question, “What do you want to be remembered for?”

- Nick Gray

What is best for you?

We all know our good friends pretty well. Right? Think about this: Do we sometimes avoid advice from certain friends and take it from others? Of course we do. Why when we were kids did we ask our mom and she said no then ask our dad and he said yes? Because we want to hear what we want to hear, and maybe not what we need to hear. Very often what we need to hear is tough to swallow.

Today’s lesson: Be very aware of whom you are taking advice from; or in other words, be aware of who is influencing you. What are their motives for you? Are they capable of rational and unemotional decision making? People take bad advice every day. Lord knows we all have, but it is important to make sure that your friends are giving you advice based on what is best for you and not advice that might be best for THEM or what THEY want for you. It is always appropriate to gain an outside perspective however, so do not completely abandon a friend’s advice. Very often I have to swallow my pride and realize that occasionally I don’t always know what is best for me. And that can be very frustrating, but learn from your mistakes of not taking good advice. If you move forward and do not learn from missteps in life then you will probably make the same mistake again and remain at the same maturity level. So to reiterate, when faced with tough life decisions, I encourage you to take an outside perspective but be very aware of exactly where that advice is coming from.

“Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least.” - Lord Chesterfield

Not making a decision is STILL a decision

Why do we always say that we need to think things over? It’s usually not because we want to actually take time and break it down even more than we already have (over analysis paralysis) , it is because we ultimately know what to do; we just don’t want to do it. And even though you think that you are not yet making a decision, a decision is STILL made. You are choosing to do nothing.

If you do not remember anything from reading this entry then please take this one phrase with you:

"Not making a decision is STILL a decision."

I know it seems so painfully simple, but why do people not realize this?

“Oh, I’m just going to think about it.” or

“I’ll figure it out tomorrow.” Or

“Well, I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”

Stop lying to yourself and realize that by procrastinating you are making a decision to sweep it under the rug or bottle it up until it becomes an even BIGGER problem. Trust me. I have seen this happen dozens of times. Face your issues! Stand up for your decisions and convictions, and own up to your actions. And, don’t deny it when someone calls you out on it.

Quit thinking about it and read the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. A study was done based on decision making that anytime you are faced with a decision roughly 80% of the time you will settle for your initial reaction decision that you instinctively made at the moment you were faced with the question. So why waste so much time to just go with your “gut” feeling in the end? Trust your instincts. And, believe me; I know that not all decisions can be made instantly. Some need careful and critical thought by applying the OAR Principal: Objectives, Alternatives. & Risk. This BLOG entry is solely applied to postponing decisions we NEED to make but will not.

Please realize that the choices you make impact everything around and inside you. Be proactive, not reactive. Don’t put off decisions until you absolutely HAVE to make a choice. Realize that by postponing honesty for the sake of not wanting to hurt someone will just hurt them more in the end. Wake up, be honest (with others and yourself), and realize that NOT making a decision IS in fact a decision!

- Nick Gray

Relationships: That Special "ONE"

Archive Post: Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I've been working on this for a long time! Please read it all. Enjoy!

Target: Single Unmarried People:

I want you to do something before you read this. I want you to listen to a song. Come on now!! While you listen to this song I want you to read the lyrics while he is singing. I promise this will make this blog entry more effective. This song is very moving..

Please listen to this song: Andy Davis – Love is bigger than us:

http://www.imeem.com/animeboarder89/music/H3Rpmo5Z/andy-davis-bigger-than-us/

And read the lyrics here at the bottom of this entry.

Keep all this in the back of your mind.

So here is the deal. I don't know if it is breakup season or tumultuous relationship time of the year, but I have several friends that are really struggling with troubles on the home front.
You may know as well as I do that it is not easy to comfort someone in pain. 99% of the time it is because you are not going through the same thing they are. Other than offering, "I am there for you" and being a good friend to them, this is my attempt to take it a step further. Ready go:
Love is bigger than us.

It's that simple. Why.. Why.. Why.. Why do we stay in unhealthy relationships or try and force a relationship that you know deep down will not work? Top excuses I have heard:

- We feel that we have too much invested.
- We are scared of being alone.
- We just simply want to be with SOMEONE or want to be loved.
- We don't like change.
- We in our early 20's and we think we should be getting married.
- All your friends are getting married.
- We think there is no one else for us or that there are no good guys or girls out there. (The one that I think is the craziest). You really think there are no good guys or girls out there? Let me make a phone call…

Why do we ignore small things in a relationship until they stack up into bigger things, but even then we still ignore them!

The main point of this blog entry is that love is bigger than us. I am sitting on the edge of my seat right now typing a hundred miles an hour because I want you to understand this so bad, and I know some of you know it. Some of you embrace it, and some of you ignore it.

If you are a spiritual person then this will make even more sense. We are not in control of our lives. Plain and simple. Listen and read the lyrics. What I took from this song is that two people so perfect for each other could possibly find each other on their own. "Somebody's up there pulling the strings, we're not on our own." We can't do this life or do something like find that perfect person by ourselves. I don't know about you, but I believe in fate. I think GOD opens and closes opportunistic doors in our lives. Recognize this! Pray about it.

I have known this song for years, but for some reason tonight I listened to it, and it made me want to dive into it and figure it out. In the process, I opened my bible and found this verse that I have seen a hundred times, but moved me yet again tremendously:

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

We are not in control, so let's stop acting like we are. Stop trying to force troubled relationships and realize that maybe GOD is trying to tell you something. Listen and pray that GOD will reveal his will to you. Have you ever thought that maybe the person you are with is not the person for you? GOD does reveal his will through opportunities and circumstances. To all my fellow single comrades, pray that GOD will reveal that person to you, and in the process pray for patience. Trust that GOD will provide because he always does to those whom are faithful to him. That special person for everyone is out there.

Thank you for reading this.

Love to all,

- Nick Gray
_________________________________________

More than Us Lyrics

By Andy Davis:

Got a feeling

Somebody's up there pulling the strings

We're not on our own

Do you see it?

It's just like watching gravity fall

And you don't know how

Oh, but signs point to a miracle

It's not coincidence

We've gotten into this

Baby, this love is something

Something bigger than us

Bigger than us

Our love is something

Something bigger than us

Look above us

You'll see what I've been trying to say

These stars were arranged

Just like we were

And I thought I found you All on my own

That's crazy now

Oh, when it's all so unbelievable

I'm not superstitious

Baby, it's just making sense that this

Love is something

Something bigger than us

Bigger than us

Our love is something

Something bigger than us

To say that from the Beginning

To the beginning of this day

The ways the world could be spinning

And it had to be this way

Oh, and love's not just the sum of us

It's so much deeper

Goes so much wider

Love of a sweeter kind

Love with a patient mind

Bigger than my eyes have ever seen

Than my imagination dreams

It's big enough

Bigger than us

Love is patient, love is kind

Love has given us a sign

It's big enough

Bigger than us

And love is something

Something bigger than us

Bigger than us

Our love is something

Something bigger than us

A Marriage MUST READ

ARCHIVE POST: Tuesday, August 14, 2007

(I know this is long but it is worth reading. I promise.)

Most of you that know me well know that I love to write. It is a backseat dream of mine to be published someday, but I definitely have a lot more to learn before I can add more to my leadership and evaluation of character knowledge. I digress.

Something recently sparked my interest or "hit a nerve" as some people say. I was a little curious so I decided to look up the word marriage up on Wikipedia. Some of the phrases I found were very interesting to say the least. Think about this:

"Sex with a married person other than one's spouse, called adultery, is universally condemned by all major world religions, and has often been criminalized. It is also against the governing law of the U.S. military. Nevertheless, three recent studies in the U.S. using nationally representative samples have found that about 10-15% of women and 20-25% of men engage in extramarital sex."


You are probably asking yourself what compelled me to inform you of this statistic. Last night I went to have some dinner with a friend, and he just so happened to be with another long time friend that I had not seen in years. I had heard that this guy got married and I started asking him about it. He said that he was divorced now. I said, "WHAT!?" He proceeded to tell me that he had caught his wife in bed with someone that she worked with, and was a friend of both of them. I buried my hands in my face, and mumbled to myself, "not again.."

You see, in the last few years of my life I have closely encountered FIVE, yes 1,2,3,4,5, of my friends (and family) that have been cheated on INSIDE a marriage.


Ladies and Gentlemen is this how we were raised? This is just mind boggling to me.


The bottom line is this. If you are married you need to know that there is always going to be someone out there that is more attractive than your spouse, and you will meet someone in your life that you feel that you may initially connect with more. There are millions of people out there, and whoever said that we have but only one true love in this world is an idiot. There are a lot of people that we can connect with deeply. I believe that some people may not love anyone else more than the love of their life, but that takes a special kind of person to think like that. And those that don't think like that need to know that they made a commitment to someone and need to practice a little self control.


What is very damaging to me is the effect that it has burned into my head. Now I am a strongly apposed to bringing outside baggage into a current relationship, but all that has happened to me has made me not want to get married anytime soon, but I do know that is because I have not been with or dated the person I am supposed to end up with. That's the tri-factor in my life.


One of the most amazing people I have EVER met is an author and speaker named David Coleman. In one of his books, "Making Relationships Matter: Nine Ways to Stay in Love for Life" he takes extensively about cheating. He says that, "cheaters search for someone, anyone, who can fulfill their self-precieved needs, voids, and desires. Victims are not hard to find since wounded souls are easy to spot." Cheaters prey on these victims. I've met David Colemen about 3 years ago at a conference in Chicago. He looked right at me as he was signing my book and asked what my troubles were. I was going through a rough time and I told him, "Its complicated." I will never forget what he told me because it cut me to the bone. He said, "It doesn't have to be." WOW!


In summation I know that I will be a good husband. I will be a good father. Nothing will keep me from accomplishing that. It has killed me to see what my friends have gone though, and I pray that doesn't happen to me, and I pray that doesn't happen to you. So I am asking you to be part of the solution.


"If you choose to cheat, you choose to lose me." –David Coleman


Please post your thoughts and comments..

- Nick Gray

Nick Gray Debuts on Blog Spot

Direction?

Well, here we go. It seems that the last thing I need is another blog, but here is the difference from every other blog I have had: Blogspot is public. So I guess you could say that I have made my public blogging debut. I have loved writing from since I can even remember, and I have done it electronically and traditionally from as early back as my middle school years. Writing just reflects and inspires a different kind of creativity inside me. It is also a great way for me to unwind and even encourage or hopefully inspire others. So let’s get into the goals of what I hope to accomplish through you, the viewers, partaking in the adventure shining a little light into my scattered and endless amounts of thoughts and opinions.

Goals:

1) Provide entertainment both enlightening and eccentric.
2) Foster personal growth through deep thought, rational thinking, and psychological analysis.

That’s about it!

*Disclaimer* I know that this may not seem like a lot, so I cannot be held personally responsible for any other direction that this blog may head that may not be contained in these goals. I reserve the right to stray or wander from any topic from politics to relationships to sports to music to pretty much anything in the pop culture arena. *End of Disclaimer*

Anyone whom has read any of my past writings may recognize some of my posts in the near future because I am going to be transitioning a handful of them to this site for public viewing.

Who doesn’t love feed back from their writing? I am no exception to this. Please feel free to disagree, argue (be nice), or add your own personal thoughts and perspectives. It is always beneficial to receive a number of differing opinions and viewpoints. I leave you with a quote which is not abnormal of my writing.

"The best personal investment you can ever make is investing in people.” – Glenn Beck

Here we go!

- Nick Gray